TWE184
    Some people like to study alone, but the others prefer to study with groups. Which one do you prefer?

    Studying is a very significant part of human lives. There is a Chinese proverb says" Studying does not have an end". With the accumulation of study experiences, some people prefer to study alone, while others prefer to study with a group of students. These two different methods of study have their own advantages and disadvantages. It is very difficult to make a decision in both distinctive ways. In my opinion, it depends on the personal characteristics, including personalities, habits, cultures. Studying involves two sides: solitary work and group activities. There is much to be learned from the expertise of a genuinely knowledgeable teacher. Also other students can offer different perspectives on a topic. In learning a foreign language, a student will often try to find friends who are native speakers of the target language. Independent space is essential, helping the student to grasp a foreign language deeply and efficiently. The primary purpose of study is to aquire knowledge and information. Instructors express their ideas , showing illustrations and doing laboratory experiments, in order to help students understand proficiently. If a person is to master any academic subject, he must first read extensively. Until he does so, he can only contribute to the group. Quiet reading encourges the student to think for himself with accurate consideration and analysis. As a result, the ability of understanding will be facilitated naturally. In conclusion, although I have argued for both ideologies, if I was forced to make a decision, I would chose to study in isolation. An excess of conversation can interrupt analysis and even lapse into idleness. Most important of all is the fact that a person has to learn about and control himself before he is prepared to present his opinions to others. Just as the businessman requires many years of experience to learn about commerce and industry, so the student requires many years of reading.

修改意见:
    Studying involves two sides: solitary (individul)work and group activities. There is much to be learned from the expertise of a genuinely knowledgeable teacher. Also other students can offer different perspectives on a topic(Though there is..., students can...). In learning a foreign language, a student will often try to find friends who are native speakers of the target language. Independent space is essential, helping the student to grasp a foreign language deeply and efficiently. The primary purpose of study is to aquire knowledge and information. Instructors express their ideas , showing illustrations and doing laboratory experiments(by illustrating and doing...), in order to help students understand proficiently(comprehensively understand the ideas). If a person is to master any academic subject, he (To master..., students)must first read extensively. Until he does so, he can only contribute to the group(???). Quiet reading encourges the student to think for himself with accurate consideration and analysis. As a result, the ability of understanding will be facilitated naturally.

两点意见

1 注意人称的使用 第二段中的"he"的使用有点唐突

2 语言还可以 但句子与句子间的逻辑关系尚不清楚